In 5th grade I wrote this illustrated story: Super Adventures of Bobby! Bobby’s Revenge. With a main title like Super ADVENTURES of Bobby!, one would think this would be some sort of series involving multiple adventures, but since this was a classroom assignment and I (at age 11) wasn’t interested in sitting inside and writing and drawing, I only wrote the one adventure: Bobby’s Revenge.
The character, Bobby, was inspired by Bobby from Bobby’s World (a cartoon created by Howie Mandel about this big-headed kid) and this weird kid in school named Bobby. Basically, if big-headed cartoon Bobby and this weird Bobby had a child, you would get the Bobby pictured above.
On the first page, Bobby either slaps, punches, or picks the nose of another boy while delivering the often hurtful phrase “eat that!” The boy’s eyes turn to x’s, and he reacts as many people do by saying, “Ou!” Most people who are victims of random acts of violence would probably run away from their attacker; however, this kid has attitude or pride or whatever you wish to call it and fires back by saying to Bobby, “you don’t know anything.”
Maybe the kid FIRST told Bobby “you don’t know anything” and Bobby reacted with the “eat that!” hand in face. Also, notice Bobby’s hand is yellow which tells me he may have peed on his hand prior to wiping, picking, or slapping the boy’s face. So maybe the “eat that!” comment means Bobby wants this boy to eat his pee. But if that’s the case, shouldn’t he have said, “Drink that!”?
“Oh no” is right. Now Bobby did it. Just so happens the boy Bobby slapped, punched, nose-picked, or wiped pee on is friends with a man with a giant upper body, short arms, skinny legs, vampire teeth, and Elvis Presley hairdo.
Using his bodyweight as a deadly weapon, the sharp toothed Elvis hairdo stomach about-to-blow man flattens Bobby like a pancake. To add insult to injury, the man asks a dead and smashed Bobby, “How do you like that Bobby?” I find it interesting that the man knows Bobby’s name. Either the man’s friend (who Bobby punched, nose-picked, pee wiped, etc.) told it to him or maybe the guy noticed the B’s on Bobby’s shoes and took a wild guess.
The big bellied short legged Elvis vampire has a good laugh while visiting the grave of the kid he just smashed to death using his deadly body weight.
Here’s where the adventure takes a turn for the SUPER as Bobby somehow returns to life, escapes his coffin, and digs himself out of the ground. This is also where the revenge part of the story comes in as Bobby stands atop his gravesite and says, “Just wait till I find him.” The only thing this page is missing is a lightning bolt.
Bobby quickly finds his tiny legged murderer as it most likely takes a man of such weight and itty bitty legs a very long time to get anywhere and gives him a “now your [you’re] going to pay” fist to the gut that makes the round man lose about 300 pounds. The man responds to the blow by saying “Ow!” which creates a similar sound but is spelled differently than his friend’s “Ou!” This tells me big Elvis and pee face are from different parts of the country. Also, notice Bobby’s yellow buck teeth are hidden in his black t-shirt. His resurrection made him a bit more self-conscious.
The hunka hunka burning love fat man, angered by the punch and slowly gaining his weight back, pulls out a gun and shoots. As the triangle shaped bullet slowly sails towards Bobby, he screams, “no!” Once again, to add insult to injury or insult to death by gunshot, the man asks Bobby, “How do you like that?”
Proving once again that these adventures are indeed SUPER, Bobby returns to life, but this time with a ghost body and human head. Bobby also has a tired look in his eyes, which tells me the addition of the letters R.I.P. to Bobby’s tombstone really helped him rest in peace. I’m sure what Bobby really wanted to say was, “I’ll find him…after a quick nap.”
Bobby catches, I mean, floats up with his killer who is wearing a new shirt and seems to have gotten a haircut. Fangy small legs is also doing the old “la, la, la” while he walks. I never would have guessed short arm love me tender small feet too much pizza to be a “la, la, la” person.
Wait a second! Elvis hairdo sit-on-people never got a haircut! Bobby threatens with an “I’ll get you” as new shirt, same shorts runs and screams for “help.”
Bobby manages to chase big boy love me tender small legs tiny arms who kept killing him off a cliff that came out of nowhere. To add insult to body splattering on the ground horrible death, Bobby asks, “How do you like that?” The only response Elvis hairdo can give is “AAAHHHH!” and as he sails towards the ground, his vampire teeth are nowhere to be found.
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