Direct Depression

A couple years ago, when I was feeling really depressed (and had no health insurance), I found this Craigslist ad that claimed to provide free therapy to depressed people. I called the number and took the short phone interview.


Question (Q): “Do you find it hard to get out of bed?”

Answer (A): “Of course.”

Q: “Do you often feel hopeless?”

A: “Sure.”

Q: “Do you have thoughts of suicide?”

A: “As much as everyone else.”

Once the interview was complete, the woman told me, “I’m sorry, but your score isn’t high enough for us to continue.”

“So what does that mean?” I asked.

“You’re not depressed enough,” she replied. “Therefore we cannot offer you services at this time.”


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