The Tonsillectomy

I am having my tonsils removed this Friday, May 10th. Not really looking forward to it. Some people say the pain afterwords is horrendous and others say it’s not so bad.

twofacedOne of the main reasons for having the tonsillectomy is that over the past six years I have been getting these things called Tonsil Stones (also referred to as Tonsil Turds) which are these white-ish looking chunks that form in the crevices of the tonsils. The chucks are basically a build up of bacteria, food and other gross mouth fluids. They smell disgusting and reduce your self-esteem tremendously.

tonsil stonesTo remove my Tonsil Stones I first position this tiny mirror on top of this flat desktop paperweight. Next I take a spiral notebook and set it beside the paperweight (spiral metal binding facing the paperweight). I then grab a flashlight, turn it on and rig it in between the notebook and paperweight so it’s standing up and I can see inside my mouth. Once that’s all set up, I stick my fingers inside my mouth and push on my tonsils. Sometimes the Tonsil Stones/Turds/whatever pop out. Other times they get stuck in these crevices and I have to use this long needle tool to flick them out.

removal

A short explanation of my needle tool:

needle toolThe needle tool is part of this crappy multipurpose tool my cousin got me for Christmas one year. Here’s some other horrible Christmas gifts my cousin bought me:

– Chicago Bears ball cap
– Those stupid ear muffs you see guys in suits wearing
– Roadside safety kit (basically a cheap flashlight that opens up and has even cheaper tools inside)
– This shirt

bigshirt

It’s odd that my cousin gives such bad gifts considering when we were kids we always received bad Christmas gifts from our one Aunt and laughed about how dumb the gifts were. Canoe cologne. Toothbrush kits. The best bad gift was a “Going to Grandma’s” backpack my sister received when she was in junior high.

going to grandmas

Back to tonsil talk.

tonsil talk

Some other reasons I’m having my tonsils removed:

– They become infected a lot
– I have health insurance

healthcard

When you’re older everything seems more scary. My appendix burst when I was 12. The idea of getting knocked out and cut open was not a big deal to me. Now surgery is kind of freaky. Being put under. I might not wake up. What if something goes horribly wrong? I never had these feelings before. You really don’t think about dying much when you’re a kid. You know it exists, but it’s like you can’t fully comprehend what it means so it doesn’t matter much.

dead grandma

I doubt I will die in surgery or have much trouble recovering. There are a lot more serious surgical procedures than a tonsillectomy. But anyway, after this Friday, no more tonsils. No more infections. And most importantly, no more Tonsil Stones (or Tonsil Turds). It will be nice not having to set up my Tonsil Stone removal rig every week in order to squeeze out those foul-smelling white-ish chucks.

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