I Fly Bye

While I was driving the other day, I spotted a silver Corvette with the personalized license plate: I FLY BYE.

licenseplateThe first thought that came into my mind was: I would NEVER be friends with this guy. Maybe if the I FLY BYE was some sort of joke, but I don’t think guys who own Corvettes have that great of a sense of humor.

corvetteman

This idea that guys who own Corvettes don’t have that great of a sense of humor is based off absolutely nothing, but I figure it’s one of the few judgements I can make about a group of people that society won’t get pissed about.

society

A lot of people are so worried about being politically correct while all I’m worried about is this guy driving around in a silver Corvette with the personalized license plate: I FLY BYE.

debate

I get it. Your car’s fast. Why does that need to be stamped on your license plate? And what’s with the BYE? Shouldn’t it be BY. I FLY BY. I bet you came up with the I FLY BY idea before you bought the Corvette and then what happened was after you purchased the vehicle, you called to register I FLY BY and the person over the phone said: “I’m sorry sir but I FLY BY is already taken by a Lamborghini.”

“Impossible!” I’m guessing you screamed.

“Sorry sir,” repeated the phone person. “But it says right here, I FLY BY, already in use.”

You slammed down the phone and started drinking excessively because the idea that I FLY BY was taken and that it was on a sports car that’s way more expensive and faster than yours really pissed you off. After a messy divorce, year of rehab, and realization that just when your life was about to get so good, it got so shitty, you walked out to the garage and stared at the licence plate-less silver Corvette.

You picked up the phone.

“Illinois Secretary of State.”

Blah, Blah. “Is I FLY BYE available and bye is spelled B.Y.E.?”

Silence.

“Yes.”

reborn

I should be happy that this guy is living his dream.

angry guy

 

Yeah, but I still think you’re annoying.

why

You wouldn’t understand.

try me

It’s not just you. It’s everyone with a personalized licence plate. The idea that whatever bullshit message you so desperately want to present to drivers is that important to you that you are willing to pay however much extra it cost for some reason annoys the crap out of me. I also don’t like how the messages are so obvious. PETS R GR8 or JIM 14 or SPORTZ FAN or like you with the I FLY BYE. No shit you’re flying by. You’re driving a Corvette. Give me something like LIFE ENDS. That’s obvious too, but at least it makes me think.

drive

Yeah, sure, take a drive. That’s the answer to everything. You Corvette owners are all the same. That shit I said earlier about you not having a sense of humor was probably right.

joke

I would tell you a joke, but I don’t know many jokes and with that you’re probably thinking, well then how can you say we have no sense of humor? And what I will say is that life and society and people are the joke, and when it comes to people buying personalized license plates, I think if you and your Corvette buddies sat down and thought it over and really examined the mindset of the type of person who would do such a thing, you all would find it fucking hilarious.

[end]

jay pic

 

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